Diary of a Skinny B*tch

Hi, my name is Elizabeth, and I’m one of those girls other girls look at and mutter to themselves, “Skinny bitch.” This is something that irked me throughout my adolescence and continues to frustrate me in my early adulthood. Many of my close friends have had the dubious “honor” of listening to this little rant of mine in the past, but I feel it carries merit and ought to be heard.

Our society today is a contradiction: media outlets- magazines, television, commercials, et cetera— advertise false, photo shopped ideals of beauty. Open any women’s magazine and you will find a model with flawless skin, a slim physique, exceptionally white teeth, perfect hair…you get the idea. This (unrealistic) standard of beauty imposes and perhaps even encourages low self-esteem in young women. In presenting this impossible standard of beauty as the one society desires— demands, even— our culture is telling girls and women they will never be enough. How could they? How could your average girl-next-door possibly be airbrushed perfection? She can’t. We can’t.

At the same time, there is now a burgeoning (and in many ways wonderful) counterculture calling for change in this type of media. Support for “regular” women is increasing; there are movements to stop the airbrushing, the photo shopping; more effort is being made to reassure the females of the world that they are enough, and they are beautiful the way they are (shout out to Bruno Mars, anyone?). However—yes, there is a however— this counterculture has its own flaws, which brings me to the overarching point of this little rant.

We, as a culture, cannot simultaneously tell women they are beautiful while belittling one body type or another. We cannot tell an average, curvy, or larger woman that her body is beautiful and tell a slim, slender, or skinny woman that her body is wrong, that she is wrong— and vice versa. Every woman is beautiful, and no woman deserves to be told there is something wrong with the way she looks.

That is, within this counterculture of female empowerment, with women retaking control over their self-esteem and body image, there remains a great deal of hate and, if I may call it such, prejudice. Whereas much of mainstream media eschews the “average” or “full-figure” body type and perpetuates an obsession with weight loss and magazine model-thinness, the counterculture is, at times, no better. Many, many times throughout the course of my life, I have felt uncomfortable, belittled, attacked for my body type. The counterculture movement seeks to reaffirm that women do not need to be model-thin to be beautiful—which, let me make clear, is absolutely true and I absolutely agree— but they often do this by attacking thin women. This is where I have a problem.

For example, a year or so ago, I came across an advice article on the internet, where a curvy young woman had written in asking if men liked bigger women. I’m not faulting the woman here (although the female preoccupation with “what men think” could entail several rants in and of itself), because I do believe all women have insecurities about their appearances and want to be found attractive. No, what irked me was the male respondent. He insisted that “real men” desire “real women” and proceeded to name several thin celebrities, labeling them as “gross,” “pre-pubescent,” and “against Nature’s intention [for the female body].” I understand what he was aiming for; he wanted to reassure the woman who posed the question that there was nothing wrong with being full-figured and that she is beautiful the way she is, which, again, is incredibly true. However, I think it’s a poor reflection to do so by criticizing more slender women. I believe we’re all taught this in early elementary school (or we all learned it by watching Mean Girls)…putting someone else down is a cheap way to lift yourself up.

My point, dear reader, is that no one has the right to berate someone else (male OR female) for their body type, whether thin, curvy, or somewhere in-between. The focus, and I believe this goes for everyone, should be on finding what is healthy for you and where you feel confident and happy. Different people have different body structures (and different ideals of beauty!). For example: I’m 5’7”, have no chest or rear end of which to speak, and am borderline underweight. This is, I believe, a combination of my build and my metabolism. I’m skinny— but I eat well, exercise regularly, and feel healthy. I don’t think it’s anyone else’s place to tell me I’m “gross” because I’m slim.

Additionally, like many other Americans, I don’t like when people make comments about my weight. If it’s considered impolite to remark on an overweight or obese person’s weight, why is it acceptable to tell me I’m too thin, I need to eat more, or call me a skinny bitch? Is that not along the same lines as telling an overweight person to stop eating, to go to the gym, et cetera? It's the same principle, and it’s hurtful both ways. Again, nobody deserves to be told there is something wrong with the way they look. Maybe we should all stop this preoccupation with everyone else’s bodies and what they think about our bodies and focus on being healthy and comfortable the way we are. (I would like to note, however, the importance of being healthy. If someone suffers from an eating disorder or is unhealthily overweight, yes, they may need help and support. However, they still do not deserve to be ridiculed or called names).

It has taken me many, many years to reach a place in my life where I am confident and comfortable in my own body. Some days I’m not. Some days I look in the mirror and wish I had a curvier build. Despite my best efforts through how I eat and exercise, I have yet to break 130 lbs on the scale. I hope to do so within the next six months, but even if I don’t, I have learned to love my body the way it is. I encourage you to do the same.
End rant. (: