Hi, my name is Elizabeth, and I’m
one of those girls other girls look at and mutter to themselves, “Skinny bitch.”
This is something that irked me throughout my adolescence and continues to frustrate
me in my early adulthood. Many of my close friends have had the dubious “honor”
of listening to this little rant of mine in the past, but I feel it carries
merit and ought to be heard.
Our society today is a
contradiction: media outlets- magazines, television, commercials, et cetera—
advertise false, photo shopped ideals of beauty. Open any women’s magazine and
you will find a model with flawless skin, a slim physique, exceptionally white
teeth, perfect hair…you get the idea. This (unrealistic) standard of beauty
imposes and perhaps even encourages low self-esteem in young women. In presenting
this impossible standard of beauty as the one society desires—
demands, even— our culture is telling girls and women they will never be
enough. How could they? How could your average girl-next-door possibly be
airbrushed perfection? She can’t. We
can’t.
At the same time, there is now a
burgeoning (and in many ways wonderful)
counterculture calling for change in this type of media. Support for “regular”
women is increasing; there are movements to stop the airbrushing, the photo
shopping; more effort is being made to reassure the females of the world that
they are enough, and they are beautiful the way they are (shout out to Bruno
Mars, anyone?). However—yes, there is a however— this counterculture has its own
flaws, which brings me to the overarching point of this little rant.
We,
as a culture, cannot simultaneously tell women they are beautiful while
belittling one body type or another. We cannot tell an average, curvy, or larger woman that her body is beautiful and tell a slim, slender, or
skinny woman that her body is wrong, that she is wrong—
and vice versa. Every woman is beautiful, and no woman deserves to be told
there is something wrong with the way she looks.
That is, within this counterculture
of female empowerment, with women retaking control over their self-esteem and
body image, there remains a great deal of hate and, if I may call it such,
prejudice. Whereas much of mainstream media eschews the “average” or “full-figure”
body type and perpetuates an obsession with weight loss and magazine
model-thinness, the counterculture is, at times, no better. Many, many times
throughout the course of my life, I have felt uncomfortable, belittled, attacked for my body type. The counterculture
movement seeks to reaffirm that women do not need to be model-thin to be
beautiful—which,
let me make clear, is absolutely true and I absolutely agree—
but they often do this by attacking thin women. This is where I have a
problem.
For example, a year or so ago, I came across an
advice article on the internet, where a curvy young woman had written in asking
if men liked bigger women. I’m not faulting the woman here (although the female
preoccupation with “what men think” could entail several rants in and of
itself), because I do believe all women have insecurities about their
appearances and want to be found attractive. No, what irked me was the male respondent.
He insisted that “real men” desire “real women” and proceeded to name several thin celebrities, labeling them as “gross,” “pre-pubescent,” and “against
Nature’s intention [for the female body].” I understand what he was aiming for;
he wanted to reassure the woman who posed the question that there was nothing
wrong with being full-figured and that she is beautiful the way she is, which,
again, is incredibly true. However, I
think it’s a poor reflection to do so by criticizing more slender women. I
believe we’re all taught this in early elementary school (or we all learned it
by watching Mean Girls)…putting
someone else down is a cheap way to lift yourself up.
My point, dear reader, is that no one has the right to berate someone
else (male OR female) for their body type, whether thin, curvy, or somewhere
in-between. The focus, and I believe this goes for everyone, should be on
finding what is healthy for you and where you feel confident and happy.
Different people have different body structures (and different ideals of
beauty!). For example: I’m 5’7”, have no chest or rear end of which to speak,
and am borderline underweight. This is, I believe, a combination of my build
and my metabolism. I’m skinny— but I eat well, exercise regularly,
and feel healthy. I don’t think it’s
anyone else’s place to tell me I’m “gross” because I’m slim.
Additionally, like many other
Americans, I don’t like when people make comments about my weight. If it’s considered impolite to remark on an overweight or obese
person’s weight, why is it acceptable to tell me I’m too thin, I need to eat
more, or call me a skinny bitch? Is that not along the same lines as telling an
overweight person to stop eating, to go to the gym, et cetera? It's the same principle, and it’s hurtful
both ways. Again, nobody deserves to be told there is something wrong with the
way they look. Maybe we should all stop this preoccupation with everyone else’s
bodies and what they think about our bodies and focus on being healthy and
comfortable the way we are. (I would like to note, however, the importance of
being healthy. If someone suffers from an eating disorder or is unhealthily
overweight, yes, they may need help and support. However, they still do not
deserve to be ridiculed or called names).
It has taken me many, many years to
reach a place in my life where I am confident and comfortable in my own body.
Some days I’m not. Some days I look in the mirror and wish I had a curvier
build. Despite my best efforts through how I eat and exercise, I have yet to
break 130 lbs on the scale. I hope to do so within the next six months, but
even if I don’t, I have learned to love my body the way it is. I encourage you
to do the same.
End rant. (:
