Thursday, November 3, 2011

open letter to a friend

Dear Matt,

I don't know what to say. "I'm sorry" or "I wish you hadn't done this" or "I wish I could have helped" are all somehow insufficient. I mean all of those things from the very bottom of my heart, but they seem so useless to me. They won't change anything. And I'm sorry to say, but I know if this hadn't happened I probably would not be thinking of you now. It's a sad but true fact of life that we never notice who we should until it's too late. I keep racking my brain in a vain attempt to remember every interaction we had during high school, and if I were ever short with you, or irritated, or didn't make the time for you I should have. I can't remember. It's killing me, but I can't remember.

What I do remember, Matt, is you were absolutely one of the sweetest and most enthusiastic kids in the theatre department. It never mattered whether you were cast or not or what role you were given, you were up on the stage with a smile. I actually do remember your auditions for The Wiz and Grease pretty vividly. You were so dedicated, and it was so evident. Your face was always glowing; you always looked so pleased to be up there. You always said hello, you always had a smile and a "how are you?" for me. I'm sorry if there was ever a time I didn't reciprocate as enthusiastically as I could have, should have.

I wish I could be there tomorrow. I'm sorry that I can't be. It seems so wrong, that you should be buried somewhere underneath cold earth. You're just a kid, Matt. I keep thinking that. You were just a kid, a nineteen year old kid, and this shouldn't be the way your story played out. I promise I'll come by when I come home. I'll bring you flowers. I'm not sure why that's the proper protocol for visiting a grave, but I think maybe you'll at least appreciate the gesture. I'd bring you a spotlight if I could, but I'm not sure how I'd be able to rig it to work. 

This will never be okay. I will never be able to make this make sense, and I will forever wish...many things. Matt, I wish I wasn't writing this. I wish so much I wasn't writing this. I wish someone- anyone- had noticed, had said something, done something. I wish I had made more of an effort to know you. I wish I could have done something. I wish I could have reached out to you. I wish you had reached out. And if you did reach out and didn't find what you needed...I'm sorry. I'm so sorry. It's so insufficient, and so useless, but I don't know what else to say. I don't think I will ever be able to understand why this was the path you chose, why you felt there was no other option. On some level- some deep, dark place that I have avoided like the plague for several years now- I remember a place where I thought there wasn't a way out...but Matt, I wish someone had told you- and maybe someone did, I don't know- that it gets better. It gets better. I wish you would have waited to see that. It wasn't worth it, Matt, but I hope you've found the peace you were looking for, the peace you were, for some reason I will never comprehend, denied while you were here. I wish you peace, and happiness, and quiet rest in the arms of God. I'll see you on the other side.

Love, love, love,
Elizabeth

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